The fat girl comes out!

So I had a bad food day today.  I had gotten a coupon for a J in the B Outlaw Burger all you have to do was buy a large drink so I purchased a large drink so I got a large Dr. Pepper and a small curly fry to go with my burger.  Well I hadn't eaten before that so I wasn't thinking about calories I was just hungry.  So I get a 44oz Dr Pepper and a beef burger.  well then for dinner I had a strip sandwich with provolone cheese and a fruit cup.  I started logging my food and my total for today was 2100 calories!!!  My suggested amount is 1270 I felt horrible I stopped eating and threw away everything I had left in front of me and filled my cup with water. I felt so horrible and my stomach was twisting because of the beef.  I knew I had made poor decisions today and though about how easy it would be to stop at 55 pounds.  I've come a long way!  Think about how hard it's been to get here and how good you look now!  I can stop here.  I looked at a picture from last year. I compared it to a picture of me and the same friend a few weeks ago.  There is so much more happiness on my face and I look so healthy.  Here are four pictures to compare:

These pictures are SO encouraging but I want so much better for myself!  I want to be healthy and no where close to a 2 number on my scale unless it's the 120's :)  I want to be as far away from the 200's as possible.  I've got to start back up on my journey 168 is not the end and there's really not an end at all.  It's a life time journey to be healthy and not be a glutton  and to be a good steward of the time and the life that he has given me.  I want better!  I have a God that wants better for me!!!  I want to serve him!

Smaller than EVER!

So this week I've been doing some cleaning out n getting rid of everything that doesn't fit.  I threw away several Items that were WAY too big that I'd been wearing just bc I didn't want to get rid of them well today I rewarded myself and replaced a few of those.  I went to Plato's Closet to find a pair of cheap jeans I grabbed a few I was pretty sure would fit and then while cruising by the clearance rack I picked up a pair I thought were cute but probably wouldn't fit.  Well I tried the first three on and NONE of them fit!  They were all too tight n I was really sad I looked at the clearance pair.  They were Banana Republic.  I've never owned a pair of these before but they were on sale I knew they were probably gonna be too small but I was planning to buy them bc I knew they would fit eventually.  Well I tried them anyway and THEY FIT!  I couldn't believe it!  They look great n feel great and they fit!  so I took my BR jeans to the counter and she rang them up only TEN dollars!  WOW! and to make things even better they were a size 10!!!!  I don't ever remember being in a size 10.  The smallest weight I can remember is 165 and that was AFTER I had a 5lb tumor removed in May of 2003.  That is my next reward goal!  I will be the smallest I've been in almost 10 years!  I'm so excited to get to share this with my friends and Family!  I am so thankful for all the support!  I know that I'm being healthy and that I am making a better future for myself and my family down the road! Thank you to all even though you see the beauty on the inside :)  It's nice to have a good shape to look at :)  I'm off to bed!  Thanks for reading!

Long Overdue!

Well I should have written a week ago or so but I made it to 175 and the same day made it to 174.  That brings me to a total of 50 pounds lost!  WOW!  50 pounds!!  I can't believe I made it this far!  It's so easy for me to say YAY and be happy I'm here and give up and go back to my old habits.  But then I remember all of the reasons I started this journey.  I want to be healthy.  I want to live a long life!  I want to live a happy life and be able to chase my children!  I want so much better than what I set myself up for!

I am loving my life right now.  I have a great job and I have great friends that love me for me and encourage me to be a better person.  I have a great church that I have been given a desire to attend and to serve.  I have an amazing family FULL of support!  I am so blessed to be surrounded by such great people!

I am currently at 174 pound and I am 50 pounds away from my goal.  The first 50 took 8 months and the second 50 I plan to spread over a year.  I'm still losing about 1.5 pounds a week and that should continue through the end of the year with the exception of a few holidays :)  But my goal is to end the year in the 160's
My goal after that is to be 145 before I walk in May and to be 124 by my birthday next year!  That's not a whole lot that's and average of less than a pound a week!  I can do this!  I'm going to start running more and try to make a better time on my 5k next year and then train for a 10K and work my way up to a half marathon.

Well I think that's all for this update.  This evening of no sleep has managed to be productive :)  BTW a bunch of my friends are leaving Sunday to pedal their bikes to AUSTIN, TEXAS!!!!! Follow the blog of the riders @ www.ridetoaustin.com

FINALLY!!!

So after weeks of distraction and business.  I am finally here :)  I am 180.8 today :)  that totally counts as making the goal to 180 :)  As I said in my last blog I'm moving the reward to 175 because that's a more meaningful goal. My Driver's license says I weigh 175 and I lied when I wrote it...I got it in the year 2006 so I know that I'm smaller now then when I graduated high school but now I want to have proof1 :)  and when I get my new one I want to be able to tell the truth on what I weigh and be one of the few women to do so :)

It's been three and a half months of craziness but I've managed to lose 20 pounds in 16 weeks :)  I'm so proud of myself and so grateful that I am able to do this "for free"  I haven't paid for a gym membership or anything the only thing I have paid for were a few workout dvd's and I've only done those for maybe 3 out of the 16 weeks. :)  I know that I've had great support along the way!  I am by no means doing this alone!  Thank you ALL so much!

Today is a big day at church and I woke up SO excited!  I am so amazed that God uses us humans to spread his perfect message!  I will post more after church but it's been amazing!

Also this week I wrote a song.  I wrote in about two hours and I think it's a cute song.  My friends think it's pretty cool!  I am putting a link on here of me singing it.  I am a little pitchy but it's a first draft...  anyway I'm gonna post the lyrics here too so y'all can see them :)

http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.mediafire.com%2F%3Flk5uxm8d2s21cew&h=SAQD5vU5fAQDarMHd-j_gbz8vx0HQJXwoU0JbKUX4As69ug

Beautiful Ride by Elizabeth Joy

I think he’s sweet and I love his smile,
He laughs at me and we talk for a while,
When he walks in my heart skips a beat,
I wonder if he’s noticing me?

But I’m just a simple girl living in a man’s world,
Trying to make it to his side,
But I’ll just wait and see ‘cause it ain’t up to me,
I’m just along for the beautiful ride.

He sends a smile, and asks me to dance.
I think he’s finally gonna give me a chance.
He takes my hand and touches my heart,
I think he’s just a work of art.

But I’m just a simple girl living in a man’s world,
Trying to make it to his side,
But I’ll just wait and see ‘cause it ain’t up to me,
I’m just along for the beautiful ride.

So I’ll just sit back and let the sun shine,
I can’t make him wanna be mine.
I’m just gonna have fun and be free,
I’m just gonna be me.

But I’m just a simple girl living in a man’s world,
Trying to get it right this time,
But I’ll just wait and see ‘cause it ain’t up to me,
I’m just along for the beautiful ride.

This song is so much of how I feel right now :)  It's kinda my theme song!  I've realized how horrible my life is when I try to control it so I'm giving up control to God I'm just going to enjoy the ride that he takes me on :)  I hope each and every one of you have a great week!

Hello 181 :)

I'm only one and a half pounds from my goal of 180 but I've moved the reward to 175 because that is what it says I weigh on my license and I can't WAIT to actually weigh that much!!  I', also really excited to say that I wrote a song today and It's AWESOME!!!  I will share it as soon as I get some software to share it with :)  It's a short blog this time but I'm super excited!!!  Thanks for the support!!

40 Pounds down!!!!

So today was a great day!  Not only did I hit the forty pound mark on my journey to a healthy life, but I also got size 12 pants for work size 12!!!!  Then I came home and instead of doing a cardio dvd, my sister suggested doing abs.   So My sister, my Mom and I did 120 crunches, 50 reverse and 70 regular then did our daily 30 push ups.  Then I came downstairs and ran a mile in 14 minutes!  that's 2 minutes faster than last week!  How awesome is that?  So needless to say, I'm in a great mood today.  Tomorrow is my last class day of summer school.  Finals are Monday and Tuesday and then I'm out for 2 weeks til my last semester of college!!!  If anyone is in need of an accountant or knows someone that is let me know!!!  I'm so ready to be fit!   I can't wait til the midnight flight on September 2nd!!!  I am going to run 2 out of the three miles :)  I'm so excited about my new active lifestyle :)  Hit me up if y'all got something awesome going on!!!   Thanks for all the support and encouragement!!!

Feeling good!

So this morning after getting back into my routine for a week I have dropped 2 more pounds :)  I saw 184 this morning!!! I am only 54.4 pounds away from my goal and at this rate i'll be there sooner than I thought :)  I'm loving how much better I feel when I don't eat junk food. :)  As many of my facebook friends know I got a tattoo this past weekend.  I want to explain it a little so here it goes:

The awareness ribbon is teal to show for Ovarian cancer and the word "Prezivio" means Survivor and if I said it to a Croatian it would mean I survived :)  I decided to get this because I want to share the greatness of my God!  He is the one that put me on this earth and He saved me from a terminal illness.  I want people to ask me what it means so I can share my story with them.  Some days it easy to forget how great God was and still is to me.  I want this to be an encouragement to others that there is hope even when the world tells you there isn't.  I also want it to encourage me.  There are days I don't want to talk to God and days I don't feel like praising him but one look at my tattoo and I remember how amazing he is and how much I love him and want to be the best for him!  It's not just to encourage others but to encourage me.  I know there are people in my life that don't agree with this decision but it's done now and I hope that you can still love me and see that this is just an expression of who I am.  I want everyone to know the story of how God saved me and maybe even be able to share the gospel with others!  Please understand I did not do this to be rebellious or anything like that I think it is a beautiful expression of part of me.

Thanks for reading today 180 is SO close!!!

Back on the Path

OK so after just 2 days of eating right and getting active again I've dropped 2 pounds :)  I feel amazing!!  I can't believe I stopped working out!  Also this weekend my friends and I are gonna ride the swamp rabbit trail.  It's great to get my friends involved in my active lifestyle too!  I could tell an amazing difference during the past three weeks in my moods and overall attitude.  I was happy with people but not me and now i'm happy with both :)  I am so much happier!  I can't wait to see what my final number will be this week after working out so much!  I'm SO excited plus HARRY POTTER comes out tomorrow night and I'm going which means I have to work out before work which will be fine as long as I do it before 2 so I can cool down before going to work.  it's already so hot there and going in already sweating isn't a good idea.

 I can't wait to see how much closer I am to my goal only 7 more pounds!! SEVEN!!!!!!!!  then i'm at 180 and I get another reward! AND I'll be able to fit into this really cute shirt I got at goodwill yesterday :)  I have to say I'm looking pretty amazing these days!  I'm so blessed that I have friends and family to understand me and support me in the good and bad times!  Thank you all for loving me in my BIG days and supporting me in my journey to SMALL days :)  I'm glad y'all didn't give up on me then!  I am so excited to start living this new life.  I'm doing things I never would have done at 224 pounds :)  like going dancing every week and dancing with strangers :)  it's so fun to just dance :)  I am saving up for my next few rewards :)  I can't wait to reach 130 :) shopping with Brittany Roberts is gonna be so fun!!!  Especially if she has the baby by then!  Like I said I'm SO SO SO happy and loving life :)


God is Good ALL the Time!!!

I'm living a happy life and making new memories every day!  Thank you Lord for the second chance at life!!!

BTW I bought a pair of size 12 pants and THEY FIT!!  I don't even remember the last time I wore a 12!!!

Maintaining...

I'm really slacking off on posting and I'm really gonna put and effort in for the rest of the summer.  I've been as low as 188 but most days i'm floating at 191.  I am not working out a lot I've just been super busy and trying to have a life outside of working out and work and school.  It's nice to know that when I do get to my goal weight i'm not gonna have to work super hard to keep it down.  I'm learning about portions and everything now. :)  I'm going to try and meet with a nutritionist soon to make sure I'm eating the right stuff. I'm kicking it up again.  I didn't gain weight this weekend and I didn't log my calories so I'm getting pretty confident at knowing what I'm eating.

Movie nights!

All summer there are movies shown @heritage park.  I've been the past two weeks and it's been amazing! I've been looking to meet new people and this week I have.  I went swing dancing on Tuesday and then to the movie tonight.  I've made great new friends and can't wait to know them even longer!

looking back :)

So I was cleaning out my room and found a card with my old measurements from 2004.  I was got out my current book of measurements and I am smaller than ALL of them!  I am now smaller than I was in High school! How AWESOME is that!  I also bought some new bras and they are smaller than I can remember.  I am so HAPPY!  I am so excited to see all of these positive changes!  I rode my bike for 20 miles today with my first big group.  It was SO great!  I almost quit but I finished and felt great!  I also made some new friends today.  I went to Shakespeare in the park with two girls from work and we are all so much alike!   I am trying not to by a lot of clothes with the sizes changing so often.  I don't have a lot that fits right now but I am saving up for a HUGE shopping trip when I get to my goal weight hopefully by March of next year!

I am hoping to finish this year out at 150 :)  That's an estimate of 1.5 pounds a week!  I am REALLY hoping I can make it!  then I'll have 20 left to lose :)  I may join a gym if I make my goal it will make it easier to work out more and vary my workouts!  I can't believe I've lost 32 already!  Some days I can't tell and other days I feel like I've lost more than that.

I can't wait to show yall a photo recap of how much things have changed!  I know yall can see it but some things didn't seem like such a big deal before and they are now little things that fit that never did or things that were tight that are super loose now.  It's just all SO exciting!  I can't wait to be a better rider! I can't wait to be in better shape.  I'm SO ready for my new life!

What A Great Day!

Today has been amazing!  I got my first test back in theater and it's the hardest test and I got a 94!  Then I went to work and got to see lots of friends and have a little fun while serving great people and making money!  Then tonight I felt I should say thank you to Austin Andrews from the biggest loser for being such a great example of change for my generation.  I sent him a message on his personal page since his fan page is just a wall and no messages.  HE WROTE ME BACK!!!!!  How awesome is that?  I am so glad that he is a real person and is still  down to earth enough to run his own facebook and read the messages personally.  I am going to try to get him to come out and have 2 events!  I would love to meet him n work out with him :)  How AMAZING!  God is AWESOME and works in amazing ways to bless his Children!  I'm out for the night but I'll let you know if I get anything nailed down.  Let me know if yall have ideas too!  Good Night!

next goal 180

So I haven't weighed in a few days but I am cutting it close to making my next goal on my schedule.  i'm gonna kick it up a notch n work out every day for the next few weeks and do a boost workout once a week.  I've got a workout buddy that is awesome PLUS I'm getting my Cannondale Quick 5 bike Saturday :)  I'm SO excited!  I'm ready to change my workouts a little. I'm going to drop my caloric intake to 1400 even with working out.  I'm gonna kick this fat's butt!  I'm planning on working out 2 times on Saturdays or Fridays.  I want to boost my burn on the days I feel least like working out.

I went to old navy today to look at some shorts.  I found some cute Bermuda shorts n grabbed a 16 i held them up n they looked really big so i picked up a 14 instead n then found a skirt on sale that was a 14 i decided to try them on just in case they fit.  Well the great news was they fit.  they are slightly snug but I don't want to buy a 16 that is loose.  I figure if I buy them now i'll be able to wear them longer.  I'm hoping to sell them to platos when they are too big.  I'm already down 2 sizes!!!

I am into a 14!!! I can't even remember the last time I wore a 14 n I've tried most of the day since buying them to remember.  I am so motivated to try even harder.  My goals are all so much closer and I just get happier and happier.  I've even been told I'm glowing :)  that's great!  I am so excited to be living a better life for me and my future!    Thank you all for your encouraging words!  I am so thankful to call you all my friends!  Praise God for all of you!

199.8!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So today was the day I made my first weight goal!  I am FINALLY under 200 pounds and I'm SO happy about it!!!  I am ready to begin my new healthy life and continue on this journey!!  I am so ready to be a different person and have a better life!  I hope that Everyone in their life can experience happiness like I have today!
Only good can come from this!!!

1.9 to go!!!

   Well a new post has been long overdue.  To catch y'all up, I had a mini vacation last weekend.  I went to the beach with Katie and we had lots of fun and got some exercise in while walking on the beach :) BTW I bought a new swim suit and it's a large!  YAY!! Then we had a healthy dinner out and headed back to Cola.  From there I went to Dad n Kim's for Easter.  I had a great night there and all day Sunday I was with them and Kim's family.  We hid eggs for Mac and Thomas to find and then Dad got out the four wheelers.  I have now discovered that I am a county girl all around :)  I absolutely love four-wheeling.  I took 2 rides with Dad and then I got on his and he followed me to make sure I was driving it right.  I wish we had stayed in the country when we lived in Easley because we SO would have done this on our acre of land.  Anyway back to the point of this blog...

    When I weighed on Sunday at Dad's house I hadn't lost any weight, I actually gained .2 of a pound. :(  I was kinda discouraged.  But the time with the family was a great encouragement as they all told me how good I looked and how healthy too.  I was encouraged but when I came home I decided to make some changes.  I'm going to only have 30 grams of fat a day.  That is 11 less than MFP gives me but I think cutting back on it would help me lose more weight.  I weighed today and I'm at 201.8.  Only 1.9 to go until I'm out of the 200 forever!!! YAY!!!  I never wanna see a 2 again unless it's my dress size. lol

5 to go to the first big goal!

So this morning I weighed and I have 5 left til my first reward goal.  I'm am going to go ahead and schedule my perm but I will not do it if the number isn't there.  It should work out to be on the week of my summer vacation so that is a good thing :)  As the pattern of depressing sundays continues, I have learned to expect it a little.  So after church I came home and made lunch then cleaned my room and tried to stay busy.  I have been thinking about several things all day but I kept working so that I wouldn't think about the feelings I was having.
I made it through to day and got to see my sister and nephew via skype!  It was fun and then I went to walmart to continue my organizing.  I've finished all seasons of Scrubs and I've cancelled netflix.  At least until I can decide on something else to watch.  For now I'll just watch free stuff on TV or hulu.  I'm off to bed and hoping for a great sunshiney day!

5 to go!!!

Rolls and Role Models

Tonight at dinner I was sitting with a great friend and we discussed all the things we've been through in our 20 something years of life.  We talked about God, relationships, family, and weight.  We ate a healthy dinner at Panera and talked for 3 hours.  WE talked about how to make consistent right choices and how to make your start count.  As we were talking I couldn't believe I was giving weight loss advice.  I mean I don't feel like I know enough to be telling anyone else how to make the changes but I think that's how God wants us to feel.  He wants us to feel inadequate to teach so that we know anything that comes from it is from HIM.  What a great lesson in just three hours of talking to a friend.  I had a great dinner with Haley and can't wait to see the upcoming months and see how much we both learn from this :)  And now to work out and then watch some scrubs :)

Sundays

I'm not really sure why but the past 2 Sundays have been quite depressing.  I think it's because I'm alone for most of the day minus the time that I'm at church.  Today in church Pastor talked about how we say God is not profitable.  I realized that I've been feeling the same way towards him.  Every time I think about my friends that are married or engaged I think God is keeping me from being happy.  Whenever I hear of a friend having a baby I think I'm missing something.  If I see and ex or even a picture of one I think that it's God's fault that I'm not with them or married or having kids.  I know that sounds harsh and when I think them I mean it in a harsh way but as I reread that statement I realize how true it is.  Let me say it a little differently.  It is with great thanks that I look to God and say THANK YOU for helping me to make the hard decision to end that relationship.  Thank you for saving me from the heart ache of a bad marriage and thank you for keeping me from having a child with someone other than the man that you have for me.  I was wallowing in self pity and staring at the Oreos when I saw a High school friend and we talked for about and hour.  We were talking about old friends and common friends we now have and didn't realize it.  It was a great hour of standing in walmart plus we got to help out a Hispanic lady :)  So thank you again Lord for pulling me out of my hole of pity and showing me what I have to be grateful for and why I am on this journey!  I'm off to bed I've got to be at work early!

Good Night Readers!!  Or should I say Good Morning??

Crazy but good!

Today started as a normal Thursday.  I got up and went to school.  Then went to Walmart and got gloves and a camera case because the case was SUPER cute and it was on sale and I don't have one already.  OK there are my three reasons.  I went by to see my boss and give her my last set of client keys :(   but we chatted for a few and she's amazing!  Then went to work for a few hours, I helped unload our truck which was great strength training!  and then after leaving work I picked up some healthy groceries and had a little Chinese for dinner.  I went to watch a movie with Lauren and we sat n talked then she said she was gonna work out but I was too tired.  She was doing the 30 day shred dvd that I recommended.  After the warm up and the first two sections of the first circuit I jumped in when the abs part came.  this is my worst area.  I am a pear I keep most of my weight in my stomach area and my thighs.  I measured myself yesterday and the results are not good.  After the first 15 pounds I've become a little complacent.  I know that I've got a lot more to lose but I'm really already feeling so good about myself.  Anyway back to the story... I did the abs and continued on through the rest of the dvd.  Thanks for getting me to work out Lauren!  I love you for encouraging me even when you don't know you are doing it!  Hopefully we can take a trip together soon!  I love spending time with you.

I'm really doing well on eating.  I've been consistently under my calorie goal and as long as I have at least 1200 it's OK.  if I'm a little under that I can just go grab a mint fudge creme cookie because it's only 60 calories and it knocks out 2 cravings :)  oreos n chocolate!  I'm getting into the habit of cooking for myself again.  Even though CFA isn't REALLY bad for you like other fast food places the sodium is high and that doesn't help the weight loss journey.  I'm gonna try to eat even less at CFA and make more healthy choices at home like tonight i bought ears of corn because they were on sale and I LOVE corn! I also bought spinach for my salads n super healthy dressing.  Being healthy isn't that hard once you start consistently making the better choices.


Thanks for reading!  Have a great day!

Great Start

Usually when I set a goal, it goes well for a few days and today is no different.  I worked out before school, had a healthy breakfast went to school, came home ate a healthy lunch layed out, then went walking and then went to work and now I'm watching my TV show and enjoying writing my blog.  I enjoyed working out this morning and my walk was good too but I need to get a better playlist, any Suggestions???  I'm off to bed!  Goodnight World!

Overindulgence

OK so today I ate WAY TOO many calories and I justified it because I'm on my period.  When I was putting in all the first 3 items I was munching on some Pringles and lost count so I guessed at how many I ate.  I was thinking of not putting all of it on there because I was SO embarrassed to admit to eating it all.  I thought I was making a good decision with the grilled chicken but the sauce and onion fries killed it.  I then continued to eat an Italian Ice from Rita's, some Pringles and 2 mint Oreo fudge cremes.  I officially hate myself today.

The great thing is that tomorrow is a new day and i'm gonna be up at 9 to et breakfast and workout before school.  I'll enjoy a nice salad to hold me through class until lunch.  Then After lunch i'm gonna work on some homework then have a healthy salad for dinner tomorrow night and i'll feel a lot better about my self after that!  I am SO glad that tomorrow I am not judged by my failures from today.  I can start fresh and go forward with my journey.

PS I am gonna try to walk about 2 or 3 miles 3 or 4 days a week to get ready for the 5k in 2 weeks.  Ask me about it!!! :)

I'm off to workout and then watch some scrubs :)

Friday Evening

This has been a long week.  I saw my sister leave for Virgina, I worked 30 hours and went to school.  I am trying to get into my routine of working out and after work I'm really tired.  I'm going to try to work out before work if I work after 8 PM.  I am also eating only the amount of calories Myfitnesspal tells me too I'm even eating a few less.  I am gonna win this contest with my Dad!

Myfitnesspal.com is such a great resource.  It helps me keep track of my calories and my workouts it's sets my daily caloric intake for me after I tell it my goals.  I really recommend this site.  it's free to join and you can add your friends and see what they are doing too!  It's a great motivator to see my friend Amy running so often.  I really need to get in shape for the 5K in 2 weeks. My goal is 35 minutes.  I am speed walking and I'm pretty sure it's gonna be a fun one to do.  It benefits Safe Harbor.  It is a great charity that gives battered women and children a safe place to go.  For more information go to safeharborrun.org.  It's only 25 dollars to register.  We have several people from work that are participating.  It's exciting to see CFA working for the community :)

My Skinny Jeans fit so well it's amazing.  I need to get them hemmed so I can wear them more often.  I am also going to be going shopping soon bc I need some new clothing items!  I bought some new running pants that have reflectors on them so in case I'm walking in the darker hours I will still be visible.  I'm really excited to fit into my smaller work pants.  I can zip them now but they are a little snug n work pants need to be a little loose for all the bending and squatting I do.

 I hope that all my readers are doing well. Let me know if you have any tips for toning under arm flab.  My arms are gaining muscle but that little fat at the bottom of my arm is still there.   I am also looking for ways to make sure what I'm eating is the best.  Right now I'm allowed 1240 calories and I often have extra calories at the end of the day so I reward my self with a little Dr Pepper but I would much rather eat something that would better serve the purpose of losing weight.  Any Suggestions?

It's been a few days

I haven't written since Sunday but it's been a little busy.  My sister, brother in law and sweet nephew moved to Virginia and I have been a little slack but tomorrow is a new day and I'm gonna do both my workouts.  I have had great success and I'm gonna keep trucking because my Dad and I are racing to 200.  Loser has to buy dinner at our favorite restaurant.  I'm pretty sure that I will win but, guys lose weight a little differently so I know he could catch up sooner.  I have 9 pounds and he has a few more than that so if I'm good and lose 2 a week like i'm supposed to I should be under 200 in 5 weeks or less.   I can't wait!

I did have a little set back today.  My jeans are loose so I went to the store to try on the smaller size and they didn't fit.  This is a little frustrating bc I've lost 15 the next size should fit but it doesn't.  The reasoning I made for this was that I was wearing my jeans too tight before and now they are fitting just right.  I'm not sure if that is right but it helps me not lose motivation.  I have a picture of the bathing suit I want for this summer and it is not available in my current size.  I've already got the money for it but I'm not going to buy it until it fits.  That's my plan for all my new clothes.  I'm not buying it unless it fits. I'm just gonna have to wear my 18 jeans until they wont stay up.  I'm not shopping for any clothes until I can fit into my new work pants.

So today was a little setback that came with more motivation and more drive.  I'm gonna win this contest and I'm gonna enjoy the victory :)

Jumped the gun

ok I was a little excited to weigh in so I did a day early and i'm down to 209!!!!! Yay I'm loving my secret weapon and I'm gaining a lot of confidence.  Even at work I can see better confidence in myself and my abilities. I am feeling so confident that after this week I may ask for the promotion I've been wanting.  I really hope that people can see a difference and see a new me coming.  9 more pounds to my first big goal!!!  I'm SO excited!!! I can't wait to go shopping for smaller clothes!!!

Can't Wait Til Monday!!!

Well my secret toy is AMAZING and I am already seeing results.  I can't wait to weigh on Monday and see 210 :)  That should be what it says if not lower.  I'm working hard this week and it's been fun to get my new toys.  For the rest of the weekend it's grilled chicken and salad except for tomorrow night so i'm Psyched to get down another pound or two :)  Can't wait til Monday. PS my clothes are fitting better and everyone is commenting on my look :)  YAY!

New Toys :)

So I went out and bought two new toys and I'm SO excited to try them out.  I'm keeping one of them a secret but the other one is a kettle bell. My Dad has one and Kim has stolen it so I hope I love it as much as she does.  Needless to say I'm so exited to  workout tonight!  I'm making a little paste for dinner ans then after a few episodes of Scrubs i'm gonna work it out!  SO excited to be sore tomorrow!  I'm not weighing til Monday but I feel great!

Plans change

Well I was supposed to be off today but work just called.  God knew that I was heading down a path of pity and he is getting me out of it.

Today I was reading the emails that I exchanged with Dylan's mom and I just read the one where she told me that if He would have lived I would have been their daughter.  That though kills me and it is so easy for me to get mad at God for taking that from me.  I still have not met a man as perfect for me as Dylan!  It kills me that right now we could be married and having kids and my present could be so different.  I can't imagine a better way to spend my life than with him but since God took him home. I have to realize that I have someone out there even better than him and that's a hard thing to picture.  Today is a little depressing but I'm gonna go shower and get ready for work and smile at all of my customers so that I can remember how good God is and get out of this depression.

Sunshine is a motivator!

The sunny weather outside reminds me that summer is coming and I want to be able to buy a smaller swimsuit!  I biked today for 30 minutes and then laid out for about thirty.  I got nice n toasty, then took a nice cool shower and got ready for my Leadership meeting. BTW I was reading the material while I was biking and laying out.  I am so excited about this summer that I'm gonna have a huge salad tonight with a side of broccoli and corn.  That leaves me with a few calories to take care of the sweet tea and kids ice cream I enjoyed at lunch and the beverage I will choose to drink tonight.  I will have approximately 1100 calories which is under my 1200 allotment for the day and I worked out!  YAY me!  Also I drank an extra bottle of water bc I got so heated while outside.  Can't wait to mow the grass tomorrow and get some sun!

Fear

I was on Bob Harper's website and he was talking about fear and how it can kill your weight loss.  When I thought of the things i'm scared of I thought of one thing.  If I lose this weight I won't know what to do with myself.  I have always been overweight and I've always been OK with it.  The smallest I can remember weighing was 165 the summer that I had cancer.  and that was after they took a 5 pound tumor out.  I am so oddly comfortable at this weight that I am scared I won't like being so small.  But then I hear myself say that and think of how stupid that sounds.  My Ex told me the same thing and all I said it that's crazy well that's what i'm telling myself now.  THATS CRAZY!!!!  I've got to get it together and move on because 12 pounds is NOT enough.  I've got about 80 to lose from here so Let's go and get this weight off so I can live the life I've never had before!

Things change

There comes a time in your life when you step back and realize that everything has changed.  The people may be the same.  but your relationship with them has changed your high school friends have become their own person.  They have grown into their own skin.  Then there is you.  You are still trying to figure out who you are and to figure out what you want in life.  You look around at what your friends have and it looks so good but nothing you try works.  You try the "right" way and that doesn't work.  Then you try the other options and you are still on a dead end road.  When do I get my big break?  When is it my time to shine? When does my life start?

Weight loss

So I think I'm going to record my weight on Monday morning.  I think it would be a great motivator.  I weigh twice a week but I only write it down once.  I weighed this morning and I'm down to 214 which is my first small step of 10 pounds :)  I posted on my Facebook the GREAT news and 23 people liked my status and several commented on it with encouraging messages.  It's great to know people are watching me and rooting for me.  I am working hard and enjoying every single calorie I eat :)  I miss Dr. P a little but if I portion it out I can have a little every now and then.  I am thinking about working on my novel some more.  I really enjoy it and it's a great release for me.  I'll write again sometime.

A new year and new goals!

SO I haven't posted in over 6 months but I'm excited to share that I've already started some new goals and it's so motivating to see the results.

I started the year at 224.  I'm not proud of that weight and I'm working hard to fix it.  I am now 216 and every pound gets me closer to "one"-derland! :)  Here's what I'm doing:

I am now limiting my daily calorie intake to 1000.  I've been doing really well and enjoying wonderful healthy small meals :)  I am also doing a workout DVD for 24 minutes a day. I am working out almost every night and I've already lost 8 pounds!  I can see the results in my face and how my jeans fit but my "skinny" jeans don't fit yet.  I'm hoping they will by spring break!  I can zip them up but they just aren't very flattering.  Hopefully the next 8 pounds will fix that! :)  

Well that's all for this check-in. I'll write again eventually!