Us, Trust; A couple things I can't spell Without YOU!

The title of this blog is from a song, Anyone know who sings it and what the title is...???

Well it is by Justin Bieber, and the title is , As long as you Love Me. Take it how you want it.

I am learning a LOT about trust right now.  I want to tell you about the last few weeks of my life and show how much I have seen happen. Here is goes:

    First I want to say that I have ALWAYS felt like God had me working at Moe's for a reason.  I was building relationships with my coworkers and really enjoying the job.  It is easy work, everyone that works there knows it.  I was able to help a friend get a job there and just really enjoyed it.  That being said God had begun to remove that feeling of purpose there and I was really questioning what HE wanted me to do.  All that to set the story here. It was Monday, August 6th and I had gotten a call about an application I turned into a bank.  I was eager to do an interview and we scheduled it for 4:30 the following day.  God had really been working in my heart and had told me to talk to the owner at Moe's.  I had talked to him and we planned to talk when I got off work at 3:00.  I shared my heart with him and just told him, I didn't want to do anything half heartedly and that I was putting in my two weeks notice.  He was surprised, and asked if I had another job lined up.  I told him no but I really felt God was going to provide and it was the right time. The transition went well and my last day was August 25th.  I had one more paycheck coming and tips from the week too.
   Well I spent the first week waiting to hear back from the bank, so I spent a lot of time volunteering in the Offices and getting some much needed organization done.  I then, started applying at a few places and still just trusted that God would provide.  I was getting a little empty spiritually when I went into the offices one morning and Leslie told me I HAD to read this story before I was allowed to do ANY work.  I read this SIX page typed story of how God had worked in the lives of several men in a home group and it lead to a Salvation and two real conversations about God!  WOW!  God was clearly moving and this was happening right NOW not thousands of years ago!  I was encouraged and I continued to spend time at the office.  I got the opportunity to dog sit for a close family friend and the money was never decided.  I usually just have them pay me what they can.  Well the amount they left was JUST enough for me to make my car payment and fill up my gas tank to make it to the Clemson game that weekend.  I was so excited that God had provided. I didn't even tell them I needed the money.
    It was September 26th, an entire month since I had been looking for a job, when I had another interview for a job at Level One, I have previous experience here, but had applied for a new position.  After the interview I came to FUSE to help load in and no one was there.  I was extremely discouraged and really needed community, but since no one was there I went home.  I was on the verge of tears, so I laid my head in my hands on my bed and fell asleep.  I woke up at 5 til 6.  I am supposed to be at FUSE at 6 for our meeting.  I debated not even going, just feeling so beat up.  But I got up and went I made it just a few minutes late and walked in right as James is telling a story.  I start to understand that we have been allowed into a high school that typically says no to EVERYONE!!!  My eyes were watering and I was about to full on cry, when we prayed I took a moment to wipe my tears and then James asked to talk to me, I tried to get out of it but I held it in for a few minutes.  I talked to him and heard that I had a new volunteer in the Jump Off!  This is my area in FUSE and I've been praying for 4 before the year is out!  This person was the first of the four!  I went to talk to him and never even had to cry again, my heart was SO full and God was showing how Awesome HE is and how HE can provide!!  I was blown away and felt so bad for doubting God.  I just knew that God was going to provide a job!
   Well, the week ended and I didn't hear back from the job.  I went through my usual routine and spent some time just really thanking God for how he had provided everything these last few weeks!  I just really realized that it was what I needed to fully trust him.  I worked some shifts at Moe's while a few people were sick and also helped with a big catering.  With all that money I was able to just make rent and Thursday, I was running some errands with my cousin and was about to go into the chiropractor when my phone rang.  I got offered the job at level one and I start Monday!!  God has TRULY provided for ALL of my needs!!!  I am SO blessed to be HIS Daughter!  I have really grown so much in these last weeks.  I have realized that all I have to do is Trust him and he will provide!  That doesn't mean I can sit back and not do anything  that means I am supposed to listen to him and do what he says!
   GOD is my rock and my Salvation!  I got to talk to a 5th grader about Jesus tonight and get to explain why he had to die and why he had to be punished!  I couldn't even believe that I had been entrusted with such a blessing!I LOVE Jesus and he has been SO good!  I wish I could tell you all of the other things that happened, but no one would want to read this post, it's long enough already!    I hope you are encouraged just reading this!  Have a GREAT week and Trust HIM!!!

I hate my normal life... what now?

Have you ever realized that the path you have chosen for life is extremely ordinary?  Do you long for more in your life than the average?  Well I just found a great resource to help me change the course of my life from normal. Thursday, my Pastor released his first book, UNLEASH.  I am very excited to be among the first to read it and talk about it a little.  The book is truly great!  The first chapter took me a whole day to read over multiple times.  There is so much truth that you really have to just sit back and read it over and over.  Take time to read over the passages that are referred to.  This is talked about in the very first chapter:

"The unleashing of our lives begins when we refuse to believe it’s too late for us, when we reject the idea that we’re too damaged for God to do anything with, when we stop being obsessed with ourselves. Instead, we must become obsessed with how great God is and how great His plans are for our lives." - Perry Noble

If we can truly grasp how GREAT GOD is and how much more he wants to bless us then, we can stop worrying about anything and just focus on doing what HE wants us to do.  We can simply listen to God and Do what HE says. Here is another quote from the book:

"We forget that God isn’t looking for a great performance from us; He’s looking for us to embrace our position as His children." - Perry Noble

Too often we get caught up in thr rules and regulations that the "law" has placed over us and we do our best to perform in the best manner.  This gets us all tangled up and allows us to think we are better than others, when the ground is level at the cross.  He also talks about the fact that there is nothing we can do to make God not love us. When we realize that we cannot out sin the Love of God, we no longer just want to use that freedom to do whatever we want instead we want to do whatever HE wants us to do.  He doesn't call us to a life of ease.  He calls us to "...carry our cross not our mattress."

One thing that I have been wrestling with is my past.  There are skeletons in my closet that I wish had never happened.  I know that they have made me into who I am today, but I HATE that the Devil can taunt me with them so easily.  The big lesson I got about this if also in the book and it says:

"If you don’t let your past die, then it won’t let you live." - Perry Noble

I have been holding onto it and beating myself up with it all the time.  I am finally burying my past in the grace of Jesus and trusting Him to keep it there and to remind me when Satan comes taunting that It's forgiven and it is exactly that, my PAST.  If you want to get even more of the great lessons in this book you can order it online at Amazon and at your local bookstore.  Look up Unleash by Perry Noble. If you still aren't sure you want to read it, just check out the dedication page.  You will want it read if after that!

Overdue Update

It has been months since I have posted and there are several reasons/excuses.  Lets just do a little overview of where I was last time I updated.  I was starting a reading plan and workouts well those all failed.  I am still at 185 and not happy about it.  I felt lead to quit my job at Moe's and today was my last day.  I will no longer be eating out as often, and not drinking sodas either, not only are they not good calories, they are expensive.  I am working on paying off my car so that I won't have to have a car payment when my school loans start.  I had a job interview about a week and a half ago and feel it went really well.  I am praying I hear back Monday, but until I hear back I will be volunteering at the NewSpring Offices.  I am going to give all the time I have to God.  I'm also going to get up and start my early instead of sleeping in. I'll be doing a workout in the morning then walking in the afternoon after work.  I am ready to be fit and be a runner.  You can't be a runner if you can't walk.  so I'm going to walk 3 miles a day 5 days a week, and think about what I eat before I eat just anything. Please pray that I listen to God as he leads me into this next phase of life and pray that I have strength to get up every morning and workout. I will be posting the new weigh in Fridays.  I can't wait to see what this week brings. It all starts at NewSpring tomorrow and then moves through out the week with FUSE and then babysitting next week and house sitting after that!  I'm off to bed to rest up!

This past month...

I haven't done well with the 30 day challenge.  I was incredibly sore after the first week of workouts and I caught a cold so I used the sick excuse to eat badly and not workout.  I have been working out on occasion but not to the extent that I need to.  I am starting back on just not drinking tea or soda Thursday and I'm looking to start running for 30 minutes a day 5 days a week to get my endurance up.  I will post more pictures after the beach in  few weeks.  I'm ready to graduate!

On a better note, I've been given such an awesome passion for fuse!!!  I LOVE it!! I LOVE the Jump off!  I LOVE my Church! Tonight Brad talked about living with an open mind, not on theology but on methodology. I know this argument well.  I was raised with the two closed hands approach.  There are many things that I appreciate about it but I got so accustomed to looking down on people that weren't just like me.  That's not what Jesus was about!  He welcomed everyone!  I want to stand firm in those close handed issues but the open handed ones are between you and God.  Some people don't respond well to certain kinds of music others thrive in it.  Just like I believe there are several people that thrive in a structured environment such as Bob Jones University, others feel buried in the feeling of legalism.  Find the best way for you to reach people and for you to worship and run with it!  As long as the Bible doesn't speak against it, and you are not causing another brother to stumble, then go for it! For so long the church has been fighting the churches for people and competing with numbers when the only score that matters is the TOTAL!  We are ALL on the same side!  If ONE soul is saved the angels throw a party!  We should too!  It shouldn't matter if it is at our home church or a fellow church across the world we should ALL celebrate!  I am tired of the arguing with churches about other churches!  Don't fight among the churches let's fight for the lost and then we ALL win!  If you want to hear Brad's message tonight you can find his podcast on iTunes under FUSE, tonight's should be up Friday!  Have a great week guys!  I'll write again soon!

The first seven days!

Well in the first seven days I have worked out with my DVD 5 times, finished another level of my pinterest workout :), I've read all my Bible passages even though I missed a day I caught up the next day and I've lost ten pounds since Monday!  Granted some of that initial weight was added by eating a few extra calories before I started the diet, but since my weigh in before I started I've lost 6 pounds.  I figure that number is more realistic :)  I am really enjoying the workouts even though I don't always want to do them I ALWAYS glad I do after.  I'm stronger a lot in my legs.  I'm more concerned with my arms.  They are really weak so I'm going to try to fit in an extra workout with my shake weight.  I'm going to try to do it every other day.  I'm really excited about getting to the 150's soon maybe this week!!! :)  I'm staying on the same work out for another week then I 'm changing next Tuesday to level 2.  It's going to be hard.  I hope y'all are enjoying the reading :)  I'm trying to post as often as I can.

Day One

Good Morning friends!  The morning starts with a weigh in at 173.8.  That is my starting point for my 30 day journey. Here are a few before pictures:

If you eat what you've always eaten...

... You'll weigh what you've always weighed.

I've been the same weight since I weighed on January 1st.  It's not horrible because I'm not gaining but I'm not content to stop at this weight.  I am looking to reshape my life and my body.  For the next 30 days I'm doing three things.  I am cutting out bread.  No tortillas, chips, or rice at Moe's.  No bread or biscuits or breaded things.  I am also doing the 30 day shred for 30 straight days, each level for 10 days. The last thing I'm doing is reading a proverb a day and also one chapter of Acts and read through 1 and 2 Corinthians.  I am not content where I am.  I want to be in better shape. I want my relationship with Jesus to grow.  I want to feel confident in myself and both of those are part of that.  I will be posting my weight in the morning and some before pictures :)  Let's see how 30 days goes!

Joy Boy, What a cat!

Most of you knew my awesome orange Tabby named Joy Boy.  I was 5 when I named him after myself.  About a month after having him I was told by a good friend that Joy was not a girl. So he became Joy Boy!  He was my little buddy!  We were so close even from the start.  He would sleep with me almost every night.  I remember one night when I was having a hard time dealing with some bad news from my parents my mom brought Joy into my room and told me to just love on him and I did and I felt so much better.  Then looking at pictures of him tonight on my computer I found one of him with his face in a Chick-fil-a bag :)  He was a funny cat! he loved the smell of CFA. I remember when he would stick his whole face into a tiny cup to get the tiny bit of milk left at the bottom of the cup.  He was the cat that all my non cat loving friends loved, even the allergic ones!  I said goodbye to him today.  He had stopped eating and drinking and seemed to be in a lot of pain when walking and had lost a lot of weight in the last few months. I didn't want him to suffer so we had him put down.  After they placed the IV I held him until he was gone. After that I just held him and cried.  My childhood friend was gone. but he was no longer in pain.  He was watching me cry and crying in the car he knew it was time and I am glad he didn't suffer for long.  With all of that going on I was very sad but tonight I was given a reason to celebrate!  My roommate Megan Lambert got saved!  I've been praying for her and hoping that God would speak clearly to her and he did!  I am so excited about that!  Thank you Lord for ending this day on a positive note.  I know that all things happen for a reason!

Other than today my week went well I worked a lot got to talk to my previous Boss about what God is doing in my life.  That was exciting!  I also got to talk to a few good friends and share with them what God is doing! It's been a great week over all even including today!  Thank you all for your thoughts!

First week and the thoughts that follow.

Well it's been a great week!  God has allowed me to have several opportunities to encourage and be encouraged.  I was filled this week and what a joy it was to be overflowing from the time spent with the Lord.  Saying all of that, it wasn't a perfect week.  On Monday, the first day after making this commitment the devil came tempting and succeeded.  He knows my weaknesses and I thought that if I gave in this one time it would be my last and I would somehow no longer be tempted by it.  I hate this struggle and I don't really want to sin.  I want to please God but my flesh is so weak. I know that sin leaves happiness for a season but ultimately leaves you feeling empty and dry.  It never quenches the thirst it only makes it worse in the end. I am making it known to all of my support group that I am struggling in this area and truly want to defeat this and I know that with God I can I just need to trust him.
 
Wednesday I went to Resonate with my friend and was able to reconnect with her and talk about what is really on our hearts.  I was able to share with her about my one year journey with God. We were able to really talk about how to pray better for each other.

Thursday was a great night!  I enjoyed working at CFA bought everyone dessert and served great customers!    I went to my mom's after work because my SISTER and her family were in town and I wanted to see them.  I came home to some sad news from a friend of mine.  He's trying to figure out this for his daughter and her mother decided she'd just leave so she moved to TN with her and has not contacted him since.  Things are getting way out of proportion.  It's just not good for anyone when it's constant arguing.  I'm not saying I know how to fix it but I am pretty sure that's not going to help anything.  I've prayed about it a lot and I know that God looks out for His children and so I am sure that He knows the plan for my friend and his daughter.

Friday was a bad night at CFA and my last night too.  A couple of good things happened but the majority was just crazy ans reminds me of a few of the reasons I am no longer working there. I love the people, but some things just aren't worth it.  I spent the morning before work paying bills and putting a deposit on my summer vacation :)  I'm so excited to take a full week and be away with my friends!

Saturday I was able to sleep a little bit, I cleaned up my room and I did a little shopping before heading into work.  Work was crazy busy and the computers were out but it was still a great night and the people were great.  I got to see some old friends and they were so encouraging and were so happy to see me healthy and well!  It was a great night!

Sunday, today was great.  I got up and served on the greeting team this morning. After finishing my shift on doors a little early to warm up I called Patrick to meet up with him at church.  Well when he answered he scared me because he was really right behind me.  My heart was racing for the next 10 minutes no joke!  But the service was excellent and then lunch for dad's birthday was a great time with everyone.

I'm looking forward to starting another week with Bible Study tomorrow night after work!  Thanks for reading y'all!  I'll write again soon!

BTW I'm down another 4 pounds :)

What A New Concept

As I began reading a new book, I was hit with a thought that goes against what most people are taught.  I read that there is no man/woman that will ever complete you.  We are meant to be completed in Christ and not any other person.  This is so contrary to what the world and a lot of Christians teach also.  I may not have been taught this but I grew up with the idea that you would be complete once you met the right guy and settled down and had children.  This is not what God wants for us.  Yes, He wants us to find the right guy and settle down but that should not be what completes us God should be.  I was thinking about all of the time in my life that I have spent getting to know a guy I was interested  in and dating guys that I probably shouldn't have been dating.  What if I took that much time into pursuing Christ and his will and getting to know him and reading his word and talking to him all day.  What a difference that would make in my daily interactions with others as well as my spiritual walk and my ability to be a leader.

I have made a commitment to not date anyone for a year and focus solely on my relationship with Christ.  I will be spending any free time reading about him and learning and renewing my mind about who he is and what he did for me and all of us so that I can serve him! I would love for you all to keep me accountable.  Remind me to keep my focus!  I am SO EXTREMELY excited for what God is going to teach me in the next year!   I hope to journal a lot about what I'm learning.  One of my roommates has also made the choice to focus on God for a year so pray for us as it will get hard in the days ahead but it will be so totally worth it!  This is the start of no regrets and following HIM wholeheartedly!

The first days of training.

Everything is hard to keep up at the beginning because it's new and your body isn't used to it.  When trying to work out you have to stretch so your body can warm up, then you have to stretch again after.  Do we do this when we read our Bible?   Do we warm up our mind?  stretch out our minds so that we can fully benefit from what we are about to read and about to study.
The girls at the house have all agreed to start a study together titled, That I may Know HIM.  We are all sharing the book but studying the book together and planning to meet once a week to discuss what we are learning.    That first meeting is Saturday.  Monday begins a new study with my mom and family.  I'm excited to start this we are following the Resolution for women.
One of my good friends got saved on Sunday!! WAHOO!!!  Praise God!  I'm so excited for you girl!  and I know she's reading this!  We are attending the Real Marriage Conference with Mark Driscoll.  It's not just for married people.  We are wanting to prevent any ungodly activity in any future relationships.  We want to enjoy love the way God created it. If you want more information on the conference go to newspring.cc
I am also attending a church on Wednesdays called Resonate with a friend and submerging my life in the word!  I want to be so drenched in the Word that when the pressure comes only God and His will are seen.
There is a lot starting this week and we are all very excited!  It's been so great this first month in the apartment getting to know the girls and to realized how strong God's hand is in getting us together and showing us our strengths and failures!
Thank you, Lord for bringing us together and help us to be a light for you!

Life as a Survivor and Daughter of the King!

A 14-year-old girl was diagnosed with stage four Ovarian cancer.  She was given less than six months to live.  She went through surgery to remove a five pound tumor and to place a shunt in her chest. Now she has a 12 inch seam down her stomach, a small mark by her shoulder and an amazing story.  Without knowing it, her family bore the burden of knowing the outlook all while, she slept and fought the battle.  It was just as hard for them to watch her suffer as it was for her to fight.  The doctors gave her little hope to getting out of the cycle but when she went in for her third week of chemotherapy. She told her Mom she wasn't sure she could handle another week of this stuff.  The last time it had taken her an extra day to recover because of how much was in her system and this time she knew it would be worse.  She and her Mom prayed and cried together and headed to the doctor's office knowing that God had a plan.  They had all of their bags packed for the hospital, with books, games, and movies to watch. The doctor told them to wait while he made a call.  After about 30 minutes of waiting he came back in and said she was no longer a patient. All the scans were clean and there was no reason to proceed with the chemotherapy!  What great news!!


Many of you know that story but I was reminded last night of how far I've come!  Not only did God decide to continue my life here on this earth but he has blessed me with the gift of salvation!  My pastor was talking about how we were dead before Christ. Some of us look at our lives and think we are so close to being a good person and making it to heaven that if we just find God he is the "extra credit" we need to make the "passing grade" to get there.  I realized that was so me!  I thought that.  I wasn't that bad as a child, I grew up in church and did what my parents asked me to most of the time.  One thing we all need to realize is that no matter how good we are we will not get to heaven without Jesus.  We are told in Ephesians that we were ALL FAR AWAY!  It doesn't matter how bad we are God is still waiting with open arms to pick us up when we cry out to him and comfort us and remind us that He is with us, Emmanuel!  Many of you know that I've been going through some hard times these past few weeks and God has blessed me with an understanding and wonderful family as well as great encouraging friends!  I am blessed to know that God knew the things I was going to do in my life and he still died for ME, a dirty little sinner!  WOW!  What a loving God!

I was also reminded last week that my identity is found in Jesus Christ and God the Father.  I've been really upset with the scale for weeks now.  Whenever I would weigh, (which was almost daily) I would get upset if it was higher than my last one. Anytime I gained a ounce I would get upset at the stupid scale and start eating even less.  I am no longer placing my identity in a number on the scale, yes I still have a goal weight but that may change the better I feel about my body.  I am a daughter of the King and in the Psalms it says "The KING is ENTHRALLED by your beauty, honor him for he is your Lord"  I want to honor him in what ALL I do that includes exercising and eating as well as the volunteering and working and school and everything else I do.  My body is his temple and I want it to be as clean and healthy as possible so if he calls me to do something I can do it.  I don't want to be held back by my lack of training. That goes for my spiritual growth too!  I am working on me this year!  I am focusing on physical and spiritual training!  Pray for me as this road will not be easy.  The devil is going to try to distract me and he knows how to do it well so Please Pray that I will be equipped to flea the temptation when it comes!

I know this was a long one!  Thanks for those that stuck it out through the whole thing!  Hit me up whenever!   Ask me how I'm doing with the training!  I'm open to ANY help and motivation!