Sundays

I'm not really sure why but the past 2 Sundays have been quite depressing.  I think it's because I'm alone for most of the day minus the time that I'm at church.  Today in church Pastor talked about how we say God is not profitable.  I realized that I've been feeling the same way towards him.  Every time I think about my friends that are married or engaged I think God is keeping me from being happy.  Whenever I hear of a friend having a baby I think I'm missing something.  If I see and ex or even a picture of one I think that it's God's fault that I'm not with them or married or having kids.  I know that sounds harsh and when I think them I mean it in a harsh way but as I reread that statement I realize how true it is.  Let me say it a little differently.  It is with great thanks that I look to God and say THANK YOU for helping me to make the hard decision to end that relationship.  Thank you for saving me from the heart ache of a bad marriage and thank you for keeping me from having a child with someone other than the man that you have for me.  I was wallowing in self pity and staring at the Oreos when I saw a High school friend and we talked for about and hour.  We were talking about old friends and common friends we now have and didn't realize it.  It was a great hour of standing in walmart plus we got to help out a Hispanic lady :)  So thank you again Lord for pulling me out of my hole of pity and showing me what I have to be grateful for and why I am on this journey!  I'm off to bed I've got to be at work early!

Good Night Readers!!  Or should I say Good Morning??