Today I am missing him so much I am not sure what to do with myself. I know all the things that console me and help me deal with his loss but today it's like the pain is coming at a new angle and opening a fresh cut. I loved him dearly and even with his pictures put away to remind me of him I still am hit with a hole in my heart. Most days it's healing but today is a whole new ballgame. I have to find a new way to deal with this kind of pain. A new way to deal with this emptiness. I was reading earlier to take my mind off Dylan and it worked I read intently for about 4 hours and was successfull at forgetting and now all the memories are back and they hurt. I wish he was here to go to the new movie coming out tomorrow and to CFA to eat with me or to go shopping. It all hurts... and wiht this I'll leave you with an old poem that fits how I feel right now...
Last Words
As I write by candlelight,
And draw my final breath,
I wish to say goodbye to all
Don’t cry over my death.
I’ve wished for this for many days,
And planned to make it fast,
Living life with out him here,
Just seems to fly right past.
I know it is a selfish thing,
To end it all so quick.
But I can’t continue like this,
My life is just a trick.
So go on with your lives
Remember me now and then
But don’t cry for me here,
For I’m with him again!
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